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Certain presidents are said to be jealous of such displays of prowess... military prowess. |
Excerpt from the latest novel by American
author Edgar Maxwellson whose experimental writing style was often compared to that
of Henry Miller. The novel is based on a long and intricate series of email exchanges
between a number of troubled protagonists most of whom seem to suffer from the
recently diagnosed Up-Yours Syndrome, and who include: staff members of a
certain presidential campaign, high ranking military officials, foreign
diplomats, psychiatrists, suicide hotline operators, fake news purveyors,
hackers and an assortment of prostitutes with perennially full bladders.
While most critics tend to focus on exchanges
related to the Golden Shower Scene, the excerpt below from Chapter 2 focuses on
the email exchange between X and Y just at the start of their complicated
affair.
Chapter
2
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Campaign
Staffer X
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… On a related note, the President Elect was also wondering if he could
have tanks and missile launchers on display during the Inauguration parade. He
really wants to give his ego a further boost, and our enemies a real scare. In
fact, he wants to send a clear message to one and all that, despite the unfortunate
size of his hands, he’s actually far more endowed than all of them put
together, and he wants to do it by speaking to them in the only language that
they understand: unnecessary military spending.
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Pentagon
Official Y
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… As regarding your request, made on behalf of the President Elect, for
displaying military gear during the Inauguration, including tanks and missile
launchers, it’s been our long-standing policy at the Pentagon to avoid
wagging our dicks in public unless there’s an actual war going on. We’ve
learned the value of this the hard way after having our balls busted by journalists,
comedians, psychiatrists and other members of the civilian community. Primarily,
then, this is meant both as a cost-cutting and ego-trimming measure, on the
one hand, and a public embarrassment avoidance tactic on the other. Our long-range
missiles aren’t what they’re use to.
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Campaign
Staffer X
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… So, I guess there’s no question of allowing us to execute members of
the other campaign while waving our dicks in the air like we don’t care. I
mean in effigy of course… Not.
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Pentagon
Official Y
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… Hey, I don’t mean to sound inappropriate, but, I really appreciate
your sense of humor. It’s sooo perverse. Just like I could be, sometimes, you
knonw, with my dick. Wink, wink. Nod, nod.
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Sergey
Kislyak
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Dear X and Y,
First, one of you guys seems to have hit the Reply All button.
Second, how many times do I have to tell you, you incompetent American
nincompoops, that you should BLIND copy me. That is, insert my email in the
BCC line NOT the CC line.
Third, speaking of “insert,” you two should really get a room. Seriously.
And stream the video on the SECURED connection.
Yours
Sergey
This
email was sent to you via secured Russian Embassy servers. Should you leak this
email, an assortment of our Russian prostitutes will leak all over your grave.
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© Ammar Abdulhamid , 2017
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