Saturday, April 15, 2017

War & Shit


Excerpts from a modern-day adaptation of a Russian Classic by Lev Belltollstoy.

Excerpts from Chapter 3
Vlad
что случилось (shto sluchiloss), Sergey? I thought we cast a very strong spell on Count Donny Boy during his last visit here.
Sergey
We did, my Czarsultan. But, as you know, shit can break the spell.
Vlad
Yes, I know. But it has to be ingested. Orally. And not a small amount of it too.
Sergey
That precisely what happened. That “most beautiful piece of chocolate cake” Count Donny devoured during his meeting with our Chinese colleague was actually prepared by an illegal immigrant working in the Count’s kitchens who wanted to send him a message.
Vlad
It seems something was lost in translation.
Sergey
Apparently the frosting was really good. It masked the taste.
Vlad
I see. Well, no reason for this to be a total loss. Get me the recipe. For the frosting I mean. I see a huge need for it here when we begin mass producing our Soylent Brown product.
© Ammar Abdulhamid , 2017


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